I asked my mom to write something from her perspective on dealing with having a preemie grandson.
A Grandmothers Perspective on my Preemie Grandson
When my daughter told me she was pregnant, I was elated, the feeling that we had come full circle overwhelmed me. When my daughter told me her water broke at 24 weeks pregnant, I told myself pray for the best but expect the worst.
When my daughter called and said she was in labour 5 days later, my heart dropped, this is too soon, and prepared myself to deal with the most extreme heartbreak. To my amazement this little guy showed up, he was so very tiny, but perfect, 10 fingers, 10 toes,two eyes a mouth and nose, all parts looked to be in the right place. He is perfect, thank you
God! I felt there was going to be some tough times ahead, but I told myself that no matter what happens there will always be smiles and laughter around the young fella, because if God was going to take him I wanted him to be the angel of my dreams. For the first couple of weeks I prepared myself to say goodbye and had my head ready to help my daughter and her husband deal with all that could come. My heart I wasn’t so sure about.
After a month my heart and head knew he was going to be okay, there were plans for this little fella, and he was going to be just fine. The machines and equipment working with him was very frightening, but I never missed a day to see him, I looked passed the equipment and saw my grandson, growing and perfect and beautiful, and that’s what saw and still see today. What was unfolding before me and my daughter was a true DAVID and GOLIATH story, some days I wasn’t too sure who was who, my daughter or my grandson, it was an amazing thing to watch and they both developed that closeness that happens between a Momma and her baby.
My daughter shared everything with me, talking things out and through, a mothers advise to a daughter in a situation that I had absolutely no experience in, I just winged it, with a little help from Google (my advise, don’t google anything scary shit man!…ask the experts at the hospital) I treated the baby and my daughter and her husband as if this was just a different way of seeing your child grow up, but everything had to seem normal, reading stories, changing diapers in a Isolette, the sterilization of everything, kind of gave me a giggle or two, because kept thinking back when my children were small, you just ran things under hot water if the fell on the floor, well cant use that as an example, I decided to keep that one for me. Giggle.
As a grandmother of a preemie the hardest thing was being able to hold him, to not cry in front of my daughter, to be the strong one, the voice of reason, motherly advise you would give to a regular daughter in a regular full term pregnancy and birth was what I was prepared for, no problem….. there was no room for my advise, that all is out the window… New Plan… be strong,see past the ugly and focus on the miracle… Both my babies, my daughter and her son.
You dig in deep, find where your place is in this entire situation, the advise had to come from doctors and nurses, that always bothered me, because it was supposed to be my job, I knew I couldn’t give the advise and counsel, that was taken away from me, so what do I do…. embrace this, just as my daughter did, embraced the new reality, absorbed the knowledge, fell in love with the nurses and doctors, trusted them all just as my daughter had to, It is an experience, good bad or otherwise, So the bottom line as the grandmother of a preemie I embraced the new reality, forged ahead, supported, loved with all my heart, and prayed everyday. I didn’t care that he may need glasses, or that he was on oxygen, that he needed twenty different machines to keep him alive, I cared that he was here, and what any grandmother would do loved him unconditionally, without judgement, ALL I SAW WAS MY BEAUTIFUL GRANDSON, perfect in my eyes. PRIDE in my daughter and her husband, being newly married, and brand new parents, this would a tough test on the strength of their love and I am happy to say
the came through with flying colours.
Proud Grandmother of David