As a preemie mom you hear a lot of things and feel a lot of things differently than parents that have had a term baby. I have many pet peeves because of having a preemie as my first baby, and I do have a lot of fears because of that also, you don’t need to ask questions like the ones listed or act a certain way as well , we are just moms who walk a different path, but here are some of my pet peeve.
1) PLEASE DO NOT ASK IF WE ENJOYED OUR REST WHILE THE BABY WAS IN THE HOSPITAL. I have had more than one person as me if I was more rested for when DJ came home because he spent so long in the hospital….. Moms of term babies, when your little one is so sick they need a hospital stay, did YOU enjoy your break while YOUR little one was there?? No? Really? ME neither, our babies were born sick and small, they were not being baby sat they were fighting for their lives while we were at home staring at the phone just hoping we wouldn’t get a phone call causing us to rush back to the hospital. Please Think before asking this question.
2) PLEASE DO NOT ROLL YOUR EYES AT US WHEN WE EXPLAIN OUR CHILDS AGE. Depending on how early your baby is, he will have 2 ages, the actual age which tracks her birthday year to year as well as an adjusted age which each mom and dad will have to remember up until our little one is about 2 and 1/2 years old. The adjusted age is to track milestone against term babies to see if your baby is developmentally behind where you hope to be. Some babies are, but just because your baby and my baby were born the same day doesn’t mean they will track the same, my little guy was early, yours was term. But it is like that with any baby, they all dont start crawling at 8 months or talking at 9 to 10 months, every baby is diffrent, so if you ask a question like “How old?” Be ready for the long answer.
3)DO NOT COMMENT ON HOW SMALL MY CHILD IS. Preemie babies tend to be a bit smaller and grow a bit slower than term babies. I am very well aware my 1 year old only weighs 17 pounds and is shorter than your 1 year old. But we see our doctor more than you guys do, and she tells us how big we are getting and if the DOCTOR is ok with his size, you better believe this mommy is. So please check your attitude about his size out the door before coming in.
I honestly have a list of a million of these but these top three kinda cover most moms I have met who have preemies. Please use some common sense when asking things to moms.
Thank you for letting me Rant a little.