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The End Is Near

Tomorrow is my last day as a stay at home mama, and I am feeling mixed about it. I love my job and it is a great job to help provide for my family and get my son all the fun and cool things as he gets older. But at the same time I am going to miss him, which is ridiculous honestly because he will be asleep for 7 of the 9 hours I will not be with him, I will still have time for mommy cuddles and doing his physio and all that fun awesome things that need to get done in a day.  But this doesn’t count the first two weeks I am back to work with my all over the map schedule, pawning my kid off on my 78 year old grandma because no one else can watch him, and we cannot afford the day home full time. I am super lucky that our family is super awesome and supportive and close by that we can ask for help when we need it.

I am happy that I am getting back to work and making my full wage and we can get ourselves out of that hole Mat leave has put us in. WE hit so many road blocks that I thought I was going to have to give up being at home and go back to work 5 months ago… But that’s where our awesome family came in and helped, and where my awesome friends come in. My one friend is even going to be our sitter during that lovely change over hubby and I have.

As I get closer and closer to going to work I am having nightmares about things that could be real and things that are so out to lunch that I still wake up and want to hug my little guy and it makes mama feel better.  I have been having nightmares about walking into a grocery store and there being a King Cobra that only chases me and my son, then we are in a house and the snake starts squealing not hissing then bites me and then I wake up. The next dream is my son just laying in his crib and cries and cries and I am not there because I am at work, but the hubby is home and he wont wake up and help the little guy. I know neither of those things would happen but they seem to consistent dreams I am having as going to work gets closer.

I am also wanting to start my vlog channel to go along with this because I am a talker, most of my friends and family who may read this will agree, but I am finding out there is a lot more to is than sitting at a computer and talking to a screen, so when I have gotten the logistical end all fixed I will post something.

I know this isnt the best post but its something for today ha ha. Who knows maybe inspiration will hit me in a few hours and you will get a double post. Cut me a break I am still sick and so is DJ. Sleep is lacking in our world ha ha.

 

Have a great night and we will talk to you all later!!

 

Ashton

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