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Getting Close

I am two weeks away from being a working mom…

I am getting super anxious and not sure how my day care is going to work for those first two weeks back, because my place of business does not understand the fact that when you have a child a consistent schedule is super important to maintain… well try and maintain. But you cannot just go from being there every waking minute to basically not seeing your child for almost two straight weeks. They are trying to re-train me on everything and every shift for the first two weeks, even though my position will be straight midnight’s Monday to Friday. In those two weeks my shifts will vary from days (7:30 am-3:30 pm) to Afternoons (3:30 pm- 11:30 pm) and then Midnight’s (11:30 pm – 7:30 am). I know that my child will not deal well with that and it will mean no sleep for mommy when I am home, and no sleep for daddy when I am not home.

That is what is adding to my stress a great deal and sadly there is no away around the protocols in place because I was not on a permanent prior to leaving. But now I can hold one but not until after they have “retrained” me. When I asked why when I am qualified on the job I want, they stated in case I wanted to work overtime….. I honestly wanted to slap laugh at him, I have an infant who still had 3 appointments a month, seeing 1 specialist every 2 weeks and he had physiotherapy that needs to be done. I do not have time to work over time. I barely have time to find sleep, and when I have time to find sleep I am kept awake by the list of things that need to be done the next day. I know I am preaching to the choir in some cases, I mean I just figured out the whole making baby food and meal planning 2 weeks in advance and how to get a months worth of groceries with a child in under and hour.

I am going to have to relearn how to juggle in the next two weeks and find a way to sleep longer and 2 hours a night. How do you do this with a small child at home? Don’t get me wrong I love my job and the people I deal with daily are awesome, but my managers are all male, all but one in their mid 20’s to early 30’s, only two are married (with No Kids), and the one who is in his 50’s has 3 grown children and had a stay at home wife. They say they feel bad for me and want to work with me but I know they wont.

I am ready to go back to work and challenge myself, but I want to go to my shift and stick to a plan that will not confuse my son so much. I will still be there during the day with him, and I will still get bed time. The only thing that changes is Daddy wakes him up and takes him to his sitters for 2 hours in the morning. That’s it, and I think that change is much better than what I am going to have to put him through starting June 13th…… I want to scream cry yell drink until its not a problem, but that wont solve my issues and adding a hangover to the mix of WFT kinda life for those 2 weeks isn’t going to help anyone, least of all me.

I am done for the night, its time to try and find some kind of sleep for a few hours before the stress gets back to me, thanks for reading!!!

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