As a parent our number one goal is to the best we can by our children, teaching them what we can, and keeping them on the right track. As infants going into the toddler stage we want to teach them how to sit, crawl, walk and talk to keep them up with their peers. As a parent you cant help but feel a pang of jealousy as well as guilt when you see other kids passing yours in the milestone department. “What if I didn’t carry him as much?”, or “Maybe I should have talked to him more in the womb…” There is always going to be kids that get things faster than others and it doesn’t mean you are doing a bad job as a parent or that your kid is slow, every child is different and they will all get there.
As ! write that I am calling myself a hypocrite because I cried for 20 minutes this morning, over the fact that my son was behind his little NICU playmate. They are around the same age and were born just a few weeks difference in gestation, and she is ready to crawl, holding her bottle, rolling around A LOT more than DJ. We went for a 6 month adjusted age, follow up appointment a few weeks back to see how his progress is coming along. We see 6 different doctors in a span of 2 hours, they run a mass amount of test and in 3 to 6 weeks you get a special report mailed to your house with what they feel needs to be done to better your child as well as any diagnoses they discover.
My little social butterfly powered through the meeting with the regular nurse to see how he is getting along outside the NICU, as well as Hubby and I. He showed them how great he was doing with every one but the physiotherapist. I can honestly say I didnt care for her to start with, she came in the room and started pushing him to do things one after another. I am sorry Lady but this is child not a trick pony! He is technically a 6 month old, milestones for a regular 6 month old are, as taken from Web M.D. :
Sixth Month Baby Milestones: Motor Skills
Your baby may be starting to sit up alone by six months. To get ready, babies first prop themselves up with their hands, but over time they can start to let go and sit unsupported.
Your 6-month-old can probably roll from his back to his stomach and vice versa. Some babies can propel themselves around the floor using this rolling method. Or, they may creep forward or backward — sliding around on their tummies while pushing against the floor. You may notice your baby rise up on hands and knees and rock back and forth
Out of those milestones the only one my son wasn’t doing was propping himself up on his knees and rocking back and forth. He could sit unsupported, roll around when he wanted to, trust me he will go when he wants to. When we go the report she had put that my son was severely delayed! I know this is mama lion coming out, but really SEVERELY delayed? I should mention that I could stand my son up and if he had the sofa or you to hold on to he could stand and play while standing, he was starting to talk and babble more than the average 6 month old. But that bothered me so much, it made me feel like I had failed my son because I am home all the time with him, it also made me feel like our Home Care Physiotherapist had been lying to us saying he was doing so well and advancing on point with other “normal” babies.
I felt like, how can I go back to work if he still has so much work to do, we have to get him doing more and figuring out new and fun ways to get him moving around more. I am not a helicopter mom, I will put him down for tummy time on his blanket, with a bunch of toys in the kitchen and do what I need to do in a day, if he starts crying I will check him, talk to him and if he is crying just because I am not spending all 24 hours of the day with him I will let him cry it out. We have snuggle time we have mommy and him play time, and we have time where he needs to be on the blanket working himself up to start moving around more. We also have his physiotherapy we have to do in a day because of this
stupid idiotic annoying woman at the clinics report. If he was so delayed why would home care only come once a month for a progress check? It just baffles my mind.
My son is happy and a generally healthy little boy, and I know that should be more than enough for me, but that report will always he in the back of my head telling me to do more. But how far do you push an infant? They don’t understand what you are doing is for the greater good, they think you are picking on them and you will be the bad guy for the next hour to them.
I need to heed my own words and remember every child is different, and he will do what needs to be done as soon as he wants to. My son the independent spirit like Hubby and I….
Sorry if this was a downer, but I needed to get that off my mind before I sat and dwelled on it way to much, I think two weeks of sitting there on it was enough.
Thanks for listening….. Well Reading.